Thursday, 29 January 2009

niece 15months 365/29

niece 15months 365/29, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

a small selection of toys my niece needs on floor at any given moment - Great but exhausting day!

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Day For Tea 365/25

Day For Tea 365/25, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Sometimes its just a day for 'needing' Tea in whatever guise!
FYI I will NEVER use Alton Towers cup for tea (or any other beverage)
It just represents how much tea I feel I need!!

Horde! 364/24

Horde! 364/24, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

my #2 son & I fit in some GoW2 Horde Mode whenever we can!
Curently Wave 35!

Friday, 23 January 2009

There are NO Words?

This blog, is probably the hardest thing I have ever publically written:

There are no words

(This blog entry has evolved over the last 4hrs {I kept walking away from it!} as I have written it has gone from something that was mine –so I thought- into something bigger than me… It is – what it is) No apologies if it seems incoherent but, I make less sense than God!

My #1 Son is 17 today, almost to the minute as I begin writing this in fact!

He was born at fourteen minutes past one in the morning, on Thursday 23rd January 1992. When I saw him for the 1st time, well there are no words to describe the emotions & level of love, that I felt in those seconds & minutes that followed, for him & my then wife.

A lot of time has passed since then, a lot of life for him, & my 2 other children (his younger brother & sister) as well as me, has been lived since then. Not all of it good, not all of it easy, & some of it, more than children should have to witness or endure! Separation & divorce can be messy. There are no words to describe the pangs of pain I feel, when I, somewhat inevitably, look back over some of it.

The detail is unimportant & perhaps for some would be unfair/unpalatable to be aired so publically. The past is important, but only as a starting place for our future (for what is to come). We should learn from it & acknowledge it. But never carry it with us as ammunition or baggage. There are no words that could explain how hard that is to do sometimes. (Especially if, at the time, that is what is being done to you)

As a Dad, I haven’t always got it right & sometimes got it really badly wrong! (Especially in that “past”) But I can (mostly) accept that & (mostly) forgive myself. This is because my 3 weans (kids) have told me that its ok, there’s nothing to forgive & that I’m a good Dad really! (They’re teenagers!)

Ok, I realise I was going to go on & on trying to explain more, without giving details.

But that is firstly, fruitless & superfluous.

Secondly, completely impossible without being public & personal.

Thirdly, oh so, a BIG mistake!

Those paragraphs are deleted & gone, as well as any obviously personal details. (before being published)

The long & the short of it becomes this then:

As a parent, it becomes hard to accept, as your children become more independent:

That a lot of the time you will be a bystander & a supporter standing on the sidelines, in their life. Now I can live with & adapt to that. But you also have to be, I think, sure in yourself (as a good parent) that in reaching that point that you’re now, in the majority a supporter/bystander, has come at the right age? For my parents I reckon it came when I was 18 (they might argue otherwise). But for every child & parent it will be different & in there lies my dilemma & possibly my reason for creating this blog entry…

I (as well as other family members & friends) haven’t really seen my #1 son, much since May 2008. He kind of (quite unexpectedly) drifted away. From then until now we have come across each other maybe on average 2 times a month (that’s about 16 times) Sometimes its been for seconds or minutes on a bus – sometimes its been for most of a day, like at parents on Christmas Day. Sometimes I know where he is staying (usually when he’s at his Mum’s) but most of the time no-one does & that is extremely hard.

I can understand, he feels he is ready to face this world alone & maybe, I concede, he is right. But not perhaps, if those who were important supporters (on whatever scale) in his life, before May last year are all now bystanders.

I don’t want to make this blog entry - inappropriate, publically humiliating & misguided – so I wont (& wouldn’t)

I have realised why this blog entry exists, because my eldest son is 17 today & that has made me think about this situation in a different way that, I perhaps have been avoiding. Its called giving it all to God (My biggest supporter). Something I now must do…

So, I want others to know that, I believe, everything in life happens for a reason. There are no coincidences only ‘God-instances’. I have faith & believe that God will be there in all the good & bad times of my life. But God is there acting in all our lives you just have to look to see his effect in your world (He’s your biggest supporter). That’s where faith comes in…

I have just remembered this: A handful of years ago, a man who I had only met a few days before (& haven’t seen since) came & sat beside me. He didn’t know much about me other than; We were on the same course, both went to church in The Salvation Army, & that he needed to talk to me! We had a long conversation (most of which I now don’t remember) at a point in the course when we had the afternoon off. So instead of spending a summers afternoon with his wife he spent it with me! But I needed it & God had told him so! Most of what he said that afternoon, has long since faded… But the line that lived with me was (is) “Let Go-Let God”. Easily said & with enough faith equally easily done…

I don’t always have enough faith (FYI! Christians are human!) so letting go of a struggle or hurt isn’t always 1st thing on the agenda all the time! Plus God gave everyone free-will, that can make things a bit complicated & messy at times! I suppose that’s what my #1 son is expressing at the moment – so as much as I don’t like his choices in life & the effect that has… I have got to trust God.

God is always there in my son’s life waiting for him to see that what he has planned out is nowhere as fantastic, compared to God’s life plan for him! That realisation for my son may come tomorrow, next year or never…

Let Go-Let God… Because I must! I cannot live my son’s life for him – that would be a massive mistake – he needs to find his way. I can be a supporter only if he wants me to be. So for now I remain a bystander to my precious precious son. I may not always be comfortable with that, but I don’t remain the only supporter. My family & friends are supporters too & will be there for him when/if he is ready. Above all that is his biggest supporter of all – God.

So… happy 17th Birthday to my #1 son (as in 1st born) & I pray you know that your supporters are here for you.. Thank you God for being there for him, even if perhaps your unwanted. I may worry about ‘my boy’ but hey I’m Dad… but I worry a lot less because God’s on my side & supporting me & my son (I wouldn’t want to be on the other team!)

Some people may think this blog entry to be misplaced & should have remained unwritten. Perhaps your right & your very entitled to that opinion. But I didn’t set out to write this, at all, or in the way it turned out…

It is-what it is. I don’t understand why – something had to be said & apparently its been said here. Take from it what you will. I ask for your prayers & understanding.

Trust me pressing publish for this blog entry is not taken easily or lightly at all ~ so be gentle?

Its now after 5 in the morning so I concede & retire for a few hours sleep…

~ A xxx ~

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Obama 365/20

Obama 365/20, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Obama being sworn in as US President..

On My PC

His Inauguration Speech Wordle'd

Thought 2009/3: Yes We Can...Have A Dream

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And so let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.

Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that:

Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi.

From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

-Martin Luther King jr (Washington DC 1963)

Expectations are High that 1 man can Change The World ~ President Obama is just that... A Man.
Man alone will NOT Change The World!!

"No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it." (The Message Bible)

These are just my thoughts, the potential is limitless, the level of change needed (In USA & around this Earth) is achievable ... The Excitement is almost palatable! Something indeed might be 'Blowing in the wind'; The world of politics globally might be about to shift on its axis for the better... How Great That Would Be!!

BUT all this, can be & will be, short lived if we look only to Obama & those like him (now & in the future) & even worse put them on a pedestal. A Throne of Possibilities is nothing with a man sitting on it...

God Already Has A Throne - He's at the Centre - Waiting...
Yes We Can... Have A Dream
With God at the Centre

Even The Impossible Task Obama is being expected to do!!!

Obama Election Win 2008

Text of I Have A Dream with Music

Entire I Have A Dream Speech (as shown on TV in 1963) 17+ mins long

Inaugurate Me!!!

bye-bye-bush, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Nuff Said!! Lets Be Honest - Really!

Powdering of Snow 365/19

Powdering of Snow 365/19, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Taken walking back home @ 10.30pm

Powdering of Snow 365/19 (EDIT)

Powdering of Snow (Edited as I intended)
It looks better I think?

Or maybe I fussing too much?

Snow Up My Street

Snow Up My Street, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

School (White Building) @ end camouflaged by snow..

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Feather Light Butterfly 365/18

feather Light butterfly 365/18, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

In my daughters room

(added lens flare & enhanced colour)

Thought 2009/2: Relationship NOT Religion

CityWest Church (Austrailia), originally uploaded by Aldakila.

CityWest Church (Austrailia):

Love their credo -Relationship NOT Religion-

A move in the right direction I feel...

Looks like the right attitude for Christ-Followers
(More authentic/truthful than saying Christian?)

CityWest Church is not a building, not a religious gathering, not a platform for a man nor contained to a Sunday. We are a people who love Jesus, serve Him as we serve those in our culture, united by Him as a family and live life empowered to give away to the world what God has given us.

:How CityWest Church describe themselves on their Website

Now that's also something I can relate to desiring for all...

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Fun Video Shorts

This is a just a bit of fun that I created ...

Video of random pictures from this blog & other online spaces

Video of selection of 1st half of January's 365 pictures

Both video shorts created for FREE using Animoto
(Promo video is Below!)

Fun Fun Fun!! I might even subscribe in the future, to their full video option?

Waiting on Bus 365/17

Waiting on Bus 365/17, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Bacon "Piece" 365/16

Bacon "Piece" 365/16, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

It was Yummy

Friday, 16 January 2009

Blog Map 160109

Blog Map 160109, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

I find it curious & very humbling that, all these people in all these countries look at my little blog!!!

Better still some even read it!!!

Tea Beano Mug 365/15

Tea Beano Mug 365/15, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Christmas Present with 'Christmas Tea'
Very Refreshing (Dennis Agrees)

Monday, 12 January 2009

ILL Boy 365/extra

ILL Boy 365/extra, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

This was the pic to sum up my day...
My #2 son ill Day4

He's camping out in 2 chairs pushed together - Get Well Soon

Events took a different turn so not Pic of Day

Cheap Cider-Cheap Lives? 365/12

Cheap Cider-Cheap Lives? 365/12, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

After not knowing what pic to take...
This is what summed up today...

No Apologies for spit/vomit/unwanted cider in pic - It is what it is.

The detritus of Teens 'drinking & urinating' in front of my flat - not a fun few minutes in my life

Cheap Cider to make Little Adults think they're Big - All they really learn?

(Apart from Desperate People in desperate situations & Teens with Low Esteem - who drinks this stuff?)

Why Make it? Title of Pic says it all.. "Cheap"

Latest A Hint of Bergamot Pic

Just thought I would (once again) plug A Hint of Bergamot - a photo blog a number of my online friends & I are submitting photos to… I would encourage you to have a look & if so inclined, join us!!

"a hint of bergamot makes a cup of tea into a cup of "Earl Grey" tea... from something ordinary into something special.

This "photoblog" is a collection of photographs where we document the specialness in the ordinary... if that makes any sense whatsoever?"

The Picture above isn’t new (duh it’s date-stamped Alex!) but does sum up my Monday Mood

Created from a testing of Windows Live Writer (jury Still Out-Tho Polaroid option is Cool)

Sunday, 11 January 2009

My Teddy 365/11

My Teddy 365/11, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

My Teddy (he's 38yrs old This Year! Same time as Me!)

Special to Me.... Quite Ordinary to the World

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Renfrew Sunrise 365/10

Renfrew Sunrise 365/10, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Strange Sunrise outside my window (picture as taken)


Comment on Flickr about another of this series of photos:

"Aldkila,is that not sunset ?
The sun does not rise over the Airport and that is the direction of your shot if I am not mistaken."

It shouldn't irk me but why question the picture (why would I lie?) If it was a sunset I would say so.... The Sun was rising - this is the sunlight crossing the sky from the east with me facing south!

Its STILL sunrise even if I'm NOT facing east!!

Sorry Rant over... just sometimes people can be 'too geeky'

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Gaza Conflict

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to put increased pressure on Israel to cease its military campaign in Gaza and allow urgent humanitarian aid into the territory, and to support a UN Security Council Resolution calling for an immediate ceasefire.

The Text Above: is a from a petition on the 10 Downing Street Website

I saw this originally on Stewart Cutler's Blog & encourage you as he has to add your support...

The 10 Downing Street Link is Here

Thanks & I Pray that a Ceasefire in Gaza comes soon...

More Information on Gaza Conflict can be found on BBC News

Tea House 365/08

Tea House 365/08, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

Before Tea (I'm a) Little Fuzzy...

Warhol Soup 365/07

Warhol Soup 365/07, originally uploaded by Aldakila.

1 of a set of Warhol Bedding & Similar I got few yrs ago
Always Cheers me up

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